Friday, December 9, 2011

An Idol

Sometimes we bloggers are going through tough times and we don't let on. I've been going through a bit of a struggle for the last four years. I switched from being a full time stay at home mom and homeschooling my four children, to working part time and now having them in public school. I did this from the wishes of my husband. Honestly, I am so happy and at peace. Here is where the struggle comes in...
I still had all of my books. Books to remind me that I failed at homeschooling. Curriculum to remind me that some day maybe I'll be a full time teacher in public school and I will use these again.
These books had become an anchor weighing me down. They were actually an idol to me. Don't get me wrong, these very books could be in another mother's home and serving their purpose just fine. Not in my home. You see instead of inquiring of the Lord to how I should teach, or even to ask His help, I trusted in more curriculum.
I bought more and more until my shelves were exploding. (No, this is not my house, I got it off the Internet). When we choose to trust in something other than our Lord God, it becomes an idol. It dawned on me one day when my sister Kelli looked at my bookshelves and said, "You don't have much confidence, do you Kathi?" She was right. It was clear that I was not trusting in God. I bought every curriculum from every company just to stay afloat and just to hope that I could do well.

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